She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
