I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
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