Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
