At least make sure they are 18
Why
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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