You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
