There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
