I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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