I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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