let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
