Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
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