is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
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