The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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