i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize