I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
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he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
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I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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