So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Randomize
