I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize