She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
