I need help removing her.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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