No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
