I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
