First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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