R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
Randomize
