I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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