btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
