What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
