Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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