i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
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