Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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