I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
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