i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
And then the night went full on bisexual.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
