I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
