I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
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