this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
