Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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