We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
