White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Randomize
