I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
