My hand turned me down
Everything about him screamed your future.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
