Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
