Your mouth is God's brothel.
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
