Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize