just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I will be naked everywhere
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
