Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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