My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
