Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
