You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Randomize
