I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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