every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
i need some magic done to my vagina
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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