I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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