i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
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