omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
