Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
