I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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