This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
