Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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