I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
