My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Randomize
