Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Randomize
