The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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