I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
