I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
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