i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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