Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
