Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
