she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Randomize
