I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
