He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
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You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
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I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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