Are we in a gay sports bar?
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
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