I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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