You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
