Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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