I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
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