so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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