found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Randomize
